Author Topic: Coyote  (Read 942 times)

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Offline 79pacecar

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Coyote
« on: September 07, 2012, 03:53:46 PM »
Illinois:

 

The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks and kills the Governor's dog.

 

1. The Governor starts to intervene and the coyote bites him. He reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

 

2. He calls animal control.. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

 

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

 

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

 

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

 

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

 

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

 

8 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

 

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

 

Wisconsin:

 

The Governor of Wisconsin is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.

 

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his concealed carry pistol and keeps jogging.

 

The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

 

2. The Buzzards come along later and eat the dead coyote.

 

And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Wisconsin is not.
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Coyote
« on: September 07, 2012, 03:53:46 PM »